Thursday, June 28, 2012

Goth Hike (and spiritual realizations)

What have I gotten myself into this time?
 Today, a male friend and I would be going on a hiking trip. Nothing else says romance like sunscreen, bug spray, and sweat. Panting is acceptable too. :P
 I got this new Evanescence shirt in the mail yesterday and chopped it up. If you like it, I will be posting a tutorial on how I made it. Also, new razor blade belt buckle! :3
This was the place we went to explore!
 It was beauuutiful. As you can see, the sun was at a low angle of burning, so it was pretty pleasant. Lots of dark shadows to hide in. :3
 This is a park that is hidden away, so only "rich" people really know about it.
 But with privilege comes "Holy fuck it's a snake!!!"
 Mountain Lions too.
 Yeah, I suck at maps. But this place was huuuuge.
 It was gorgeous, I'm afraid my camera can't quite capture the emerald green that surrounded us.
 It was quiet. Peaceful. Calm. Something I have needed for a looong time now.
 This place had trails upon trails leading everywhere.
 Even a staircase leading clear up the freggin' hill! Yeah, nooo thank you.
 In this photo, you can somewhat see the green I was talking about. The light was yellow, and it light up every tree with this emerald green color that was infused with life. It was gorgeous.
  He took me to the highest point in town. Look at all that smog. 
 He said that, on clear days after it has rained and the smog has been washed away, you can see clear to the ocean.
 This photo captures the colors of the evening sun best.
It was so liberating. Just being able to look down at everything. Suddenly, everything that had been clogging my brain was washed away.
You know when something really gets you down? It engulfs your entire being.
But being here, looking down on people, pets, and everything, it suddenly seemed so small.
I was not being locked in a practice room.
I was not being ridiculed for being different.
I was not being hidden away so no one could see us together.
I was... free.
Utterly free....
I breathed, and for the first time, I felt safe.
Teetering on the cliff of what seemed to be the world, I was free.
Nothing can hold me down.
No one can hold me back.
Not even a stupid, ignorant person who was undeserving of my kindness.
Nothing.
I sighed. I let it all go, and we moved on.
We came down the cliff. Coming down from that high (pun intended) was great. I felt weightless. We walked through this orchard filled with grapefruits and oranges and lemons, the air was sweet and cool. This man, this stranger by my side, he opened my eyes. He was not ashamed to know me. He would not abuse my heart as others had. He showed me something that others could not- beautiful freedom.
My camera battery was dying, so I didn't get to capture too many other photos of us here. We went back to his place, ate, then had some time in the pool. It had gotten quite late (as you can see), but the night was sultry. The water felt cool, and once again in that clear quiet blue, I was weightless. I washed away any traces of the drama at school, and I emerged a sparkling, beautiful creature of the night. I was a goddess. A siren. A bringer of beauty and song. So far, my summer is off to a great, FRESH start. I love it! <3!

1 comment:

Jim Tolles said...

Very cool. It's amazing how quickly being out in nature can get us back in touch with reality. Thanks for sharing your story. :)