So after reading a post by Amy found at the link below, I began to think "When did I become goth?"
http://ultimategothguide.blogspot.com/2011/05/guest-post-still-goth-after-all-these.html
Everyone remembers some sort of memory where they saw beyond a cereal box of Count Chocula and thought "Hmm.", but I honestly can't. It's always been kind of inside of me, for as long as I can remember, and I cannot remember a time when I never saw myself as "Spooky".
I never remember one sort of moment or memory from whence my gothdom sprang up, so I began to ask my family why. Where did this come from? Why do you accept me as normal when I'm in boots and a dress but not in blue jeans and flip flops?
I turned to my mom and she showed me pictures of myself as a baby, growing up, in middle school, in high school. I've always had spooky tendencies, and this post will show you just what I mean.
Example 1:
This is a picture of my brother and I when we were young. He was 5 and I was 3 years old. My aunt asked me what I wanted to be for Halloween, that she'd make me whatever costume I wanted, and this is what I asked for. Black Mary Janes, black stockings, black billowy skirt, black leotard with a black bolero, black velvet crown with a black lace veil. Make-up consisted of lots of black rimmed eyes, red lipstick, and I've always had a fascination for moles, so she drew one on my chin. I didn't know what goth was, I just knew that I wanted to look like that.
Example 2:
It was Halloween, and I was in the third grade (I am 7 years old) in this picture. And if you don't know who I am, here's a hint.
http://moviemoxietme.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/elvira-mistress-of-the-dark.jpg
I loved her. I would stay up all night and watch her movies with my father as well as other slasher movies that were prevailent at the time. I thought Chucky was a cute doll, Jason could be my bodyguard to defend me from bullies at school, and I had a huuuge crush on Freddy. Still kinda do...
More years went by, I collected ALL of her collector cards (which I still have all nicely labeled in an album) and I used to stay up and watch "Tales from the Crypt" with my dad. He passed when I was 9, but I still watched them. I discovered Anne Rice's "Interview with the Vampire" in a second hand store and read it cover to cover that night. I realized I wasn't alone, that I could find solace even if in just a book, and my vision began to open to some sort of culture of the "Spookily inclined."
No more examples, just pictures from here on out.
I'm next to the clown with the rainbow wig. I'm in a long black gown with a fishnet shirt, straightened black hair, black lipstick, black make-up, and the sash I got as Homecoming court as a Senior in high school (I know, it shocked me too).
From there on, it's mostly pictures of me being me. Not much has changed, except that I have acquired the title that comes with knowing what I am. There was no real revelation for me, I just... was.
So what was your "coming out" story? Was it easy for you to do? Did you fight it? Embrace it? How did you come to know what you are? <3!
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