Hello, my lovelies!
Today was a very important day for me- I went shoe shopping!
For those of you who know me, you all know that shoes are not a huge thing for me, but this time is quite different. You see, my boyfriend of 10 months broke up with me... Over the phone... 2 hours before I had a solo performance... with an audience of 200+ people in attendance.
I was utterly heartbroken and crushed. I ruined my make-up because I cried so hard, but I knew I had a choice- I could let him break me, go crumble up in a corner somewhere and allow my heartache to break me, OR I could stand up for myself... And that's just what I did. I fixed my make-up, put on my dress, and performed 2 hours later for a room of 200 strangers who applauded and congratulated me, unknowing to the fact that my world had just came tumbling down. They had laid out confetti that got stuck in my shoe while I sat and waited. Inspiration struck, so I pilfered a good amount of it in my pocket.
That day was HUGE for me. I knew then and there what my strength was. I had to go through something so hurtful, deep, and painful, but I did so with grace and strength and had a room full of strangers smiling at me, applauding me, congratulating me on my beauty, my talent, and my grace. I knew right then- even if my lover renounced his love for me, my friends are busy, and my family is working, I still have MYSELF. I can always depend on myself, even when I have no one else. I have my own two feet to stand on. Which is why I needed a new pair of performance heels for my latest good luck spell and ritual.
I anointed my shoes with oil, then I taped my own special good luck charm to the feet- the confetti that got stuck in my shoe while I performed.
I put a good amount in each shoe, then taped it all down. These shoes are now my good luck charms and constant reminders of that day. Now, any time I have a performance, I can strap on my shoes, feel the small good luck spell under my feet, straighten my spine, smile, and kick some serious ass!
I will always remember to believe in MYSELF. I will never give up on myself. I will never allow someone as disturbed and hurtful as the man I dated to break me. I will always remain smart, talented, beautiful, loving, and whole unto myself.
I am a Scorpio. I am a Phoenix. I have risen from my own ashes into a wild burst of creative flame.
I create. <3!
2 comments:
You're amazing to perform after something like that! I love what you did with the confetti! Amazing good luck charms! I'm sorry about what happened but, like you said, you are and will be whole. I love your blog and your outfit posts and hope to see more stuff from you. Don't stop doing what you love and don't change. :)
By the way, I'm only anonymous 'cause I don't have an account but I'm a frequent visitor to your blog. I love your fashion sense and DIY advice!
Thank you so much for your comment, Anonymous. Life happens, but it's about how we all rise to the occasion. I just wanted people to see that, and press on toward what they know is right. Plus, I have some pretty awesome, meaningful shoes.
I want to post some more outfit blogs, and I hope to do so in the future. Thank you for visiting! <3!
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